Serenity

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm"

I have found some peace amid the storm recently in a personal struggle I've been dealing with. It has been a quite liberating experience to be able to finally let go of some anxiety that I have been holding onto for several months now. I'm not sure I will ever fully heal from this experience but I am still definitely viewing everything with clearer vision. My steps are carefully marked and my heart is highly guarded. This has definitely taken some getting used to - this new Melissa. Sometimes I admire her... sometimes she really scares me. Especially those times I refer to myself in third person :-) There are times when I have this strength that seems to come out of nowhere. I manage to pick myself up and trudge through the thickest mud. I have been blessed with many friends helping me along the way. Then there are times when this new person within me has become so icy and hardened. I feel as though its my defensive self. A tougher skin you might say. I definitely admire the long forgotten romantic that I used to be. I can still cry at a sappy romance movie but quicky shrug it off as "fictional". These are things that scare me. As I'm learning to take care of ME, I'm also losing touch with some things that have made me unique. I have hope that just by realizing this I can still hold on to those things. I hope that chivalry isn't really dead and that there is something real to find out there in such an insane world and that someday everything will make sense. Ahhh serenity now......