Fight or Flight

It’s fear.

                Fear of losing what makes you feel incredible.

When it feels like someone is pulling away I begin an immediate introspection.

                                Is it me?

                                What have I done?

                                Don’t I deserve better than this?

It’s fear of familiar heartache

                                The pain that consumes you.

                                The thoughts that drain you –  Why?  Why? Why?

It’s fear.

                It’s fear of being back to just you.  Fear of losing affection.

                It’s simply human nature.           

                                But fear is painfully strong

                Fear causes you to react with fight or flight

                Choosing between running or taking these tangled knots in my stomach and throwing them --       

                                Hey you, take this!   You, feel this way!

It’s selfish.  It’s knee jerk reacting. 

Do I run? Do I pretend it’s… that feeling… just not there? 

Anything!  I’d do anything to stop the fear, the panic and that pain.

I must fear myself.

I fear that there is no one that will take me as I am.

I fear that I won’t be able to say what I want and be understood.

I fear a loveless existence.